Tuesday, July 22, 2014

#fearlesslybadass

The collateral damage of my self-devised stress is truly damaging.

Hello head, its me again trying to manipulate emotions.

If you are lost with what I am saying, I can assure you that it makes two of us. I am utterly lost for words at my own illogical reasoning.

I spent all of today arguing with myself about a silly question I had to enquire. Which led to a fully avoidable binge of popcorn, cookies, more cookies, pasta and cookies.

Damn you chocolate. Last week I was vexing at you, and today I continue to do just that. 

That silly question that I had to ask seriously had me over analyzing everything too. I, shamefully, admit that I turned to the art of paper tossing to decide if I should make my move. I wrote "yes" on one scrap of paper and "no" on another and jumbled them around. I secretly wanted the "yo," a fusion of "yes" and "no." Of course that option was not available and fate gave me "yes."

I took this as a sign of I should ask, and I closed my eyes and asked. My heart fluttered, stumbled, and I may have puked a little, but I asked.

Then I proceeded to throw my phone as far away as possible. And now I sit here hyperventilating and wondering if this is actually worse than the initial asking.

…..15 minutes later…

Honestly, waiting really was horrible. But now that I have finally received my answer, though I can hardly breath, I couldn't be happier. I took the initiation and now I feel like I can take over the world. The purpose is back and I am unstoppable.

I most likely will not sleep tonight, but I want to leave you with a piece of advice that helped me pull myself back up from the ledge: Stop fearing shit. It only stops you from doing things you want to do.



Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Chocoholites Epidemic

Is it the heat of the burning July sun or the muggy air of our window unit that is making me crave chocolate all night long?

Either way I caved.

I sit here in the aftermath of my chocolate gorge, and simply wonder who really was that chocoholic ghost that overtook me momentarily.

And now I feel like a zombie with chocolate tainted fingers, but I do not regret a single chocolate bite.

I am truly flabbergasted at the power chocolate can have on a person. As a self declared chocoholic, I see others who suffer from this delectable disease. I see them eat multiple chocolates in one sitting, I see them fill their shopping carts with only chocolate products and I see them eat the whole Nutella jar with only a spoon.

And although I do not have scientific data to proclaim this, chocoholites exist.

Chocoholites is triggered by the consumption of any chocolate product. As mentioned, I do not hold the top secret records that indicate the exact ingredient in chocolate, but consumption of anything chocolate flavored will cause the victim to want more.

Fortunately some people are immune to this, but they are rare species. They are those weird ones, that perhaps we envy, who can take a bite of chocolate and be done. They can eat one m&m and move on with their lives. I am actively researching what their magic power is.

And then there is the 1%. No, this is not the Occupy Wall Street-ers, these are those people who hate chocolate. They cannot even eat its unsavory counterpart, white chocolate, because they don't care for chocolate. I am baffled by this species, in particular I sometimes sit and wonder for hours with my jar of Nutella, 'how are they still alive?'

From all of my personal research I can safely conclude that most of us hold a gene that craves chocolate. Located in our taste buds, it yearns for this delicacy. So if you find yourself overindulging in chocolate, just know you are not alone and that this is not your fault. Chocoholites is a true epidemic. It has no cure, except to give in.

Yes my friends, indulge.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Fort Dry

I woke up determined. Determined to be productive today, determined to do laundry.

Lets be honest, I hate doing laundry. Its a tedious chore, but I was already using the other side of my underwear…

What's even worse is the fact that I can hardly call doing laundry a chore while I am staying in a dorm. Laundry has all of a sudden become an expedition of collecting quarters and gambling on laundry machines that won't my hard earned quarters.

Unfortunately today I had a dead hand.

There I was, somewhat sweaty (from frantically running around the city for quarters) but positively determined to complete my laundry in less than two hours, hassle free.

Yet the devious machines had different plans, and after losing 3 quarters I was finally able to start two machines with just enough money for drying.

Twenty minutes later I found myself in a one sided slap battle between me and the voracious drying machine.

Yes that greedy dryer ate ALL my coins.

I was livid, but what could I do? I was alone in laundry desert.

I returned to my room quietly cursing the chore of laundry and the fact that clothes are indispensable.

(But seriously, take a moment to consider disposable clothes? Clothes would be biodegradable and you could just chuck out the window. It could even act as a fertilizer for the plants! Think of all the water we could save too! )

I could only feel sorry for myself for so long after all, today was supposed to be productive. So naturally, I turned my room into Fort Laundry. Hanging from pipes, doors, door knobs and even drawers, hung all of my laundry.

I felt as if I had conquered the machines. Who needed them when I could dry my clothes the old fashion way?

Well perhaps when the colonist were drying their clothes outside it was more windy. Right now, I find myself lounging on some damp covers.

Perhaps Ill catch a cold, or freeze all night, but at least I am able to say, those laundry machines were no match for me!