#fearlesslybadass

The collateral damage of my self-devised stress is truly damaging.

Hello head, its me again trying to manipulate emotions.

If you are lost with what I am saying, I can assure you that it makes two of us. I am utterly lost for words at my own illogical reasoning.

I spent all of today arguing with myself about a silly question I had to enquire. Which led to a fully avoidable binge of popcorn, cookies, more cookies, pasta and cookies.

Damn you chocolate. Last week I was vexing at you, and today I continue to do just that. 

That silly question that I had to ask seriously had me over analyzing everything too. I, shamefully, admit that I turned to the art of paper tossing to decide if I should make my move. I wrote "yes" on one scrap of paper and "no" on another and jumbled them around. I secretly wanted the "yo," a fusion of "yes" and "no." Of course that option was not available and fate gave me "yes."

I took this as a sign of I should ask, and I closed my eyes and asked. My heart fluttered, stumbled, and I may have puked a little, but I asked.

Then I proceeded to throw my phone as far away as possible. And now I sit here hyperventilating and wondering if this is actually worse than the initial asking.

…..15 minutes later…

Honestly, waiting really was horrible. But now that I have finally received my answer, though I can hardly breath, I couldn't be happier. I took the initiation and now I feel like I can take over the world. The purpose is back and I am unstoppable.

I most likely will not sleep tonight, but I want to leave you with a piece of advice that helped me pull myself back up from the ledge: Stop fearing shit. It only stops you from doing things you want to do.